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Offensive linemen have the most thankless job in the NFL. Go stand in that guy’s way, and if you do a good job, we’ll never talk about it. Screw up and, best case, we’ll publicly shame you. Or we’ll blame you for a loss or injury.
The big lugs need a hug, and that’s why they look forward to the holiday season. Their rich quarterbacks — and sometimes the running backs — reward offensive linemen for their blood, sweat and tears with lavish gifts for Christmas. While they’re not always shared with the public or annoying media types, we were able to compile our list of the top 10 gifts from this year, plus a couple of honorable mentions.
Did the quarterbacks, and teams, get immediate dividends from the offensive linemen for their generosity? Let’s take a look at the best gifts along with how those teams fared in Week 17.
1. Cincinnati Bengals
Week 17 result: Beat Denver Broncos 30-24
Joe Burrow asked his linemen what they wanted, and when some said guns, it got him thinking about the coolest weapon — and samurai swords were the obvious answer.
2. Green Bay Packers
Week 17 result: Lost to Minnesota Vikings 27-25
Running back Josh Jacobs wrapped up customized diamond pendants for his 12 offensive linemen. They were commissioned by ZoFrost and Co., a custom jewelry maker based in Houston.
3. Philadelphia Eagles
Week 17 result: Beat Dallas Cowboys 41-17
Running back Saquon Barkley, who is vying for the NFL rushing record, was smart and went in with quarterback Jalen Hurts on gifts for the linemen. They bought each one a personalized golf cart, customized with the player’s last name and number. And, of course, the logos for Hurts and Barkley on the back.
4. San Francisco 49ers
Week 17 result: Lost to Detroit Lions 40-34
Brock Purdy was also smart. He hasn’t gotten his big payday yet, so he turned to corporate sponsorship. Thanks to his friends at Toyota, Purdy gave 10 linemen either a Toyota Sequoia or a Toyota Tundra.
5. New York Jets
Week 17 result: Lost to Buffalo Bills 40-14
You can’t dress up a pig, but that doesn’t mean pigs don’t like to clean up nicely every now and then. Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who has had a miserable season, tried to style up the Jets facility. He had a tailor come in and measure the linemen for a custom Tom Ford suit, which they can wear with their new Tom Ford sunglasses and Tom Ford cologne.
6. Detroit Lions
Week 17 result: Beat San Francisco 49ers 40-34
After all, offensive linemen are a simple lot. Jewelry? Trucks? Nah. Lions quarterback Jared Goff knew his audience.
7. Pittsburgh Steelers
Week 17 result: Lost to Kansas City Chiefs 29-10
This one should be higher on the list. We are just anti-gift cards. Even if they’re for $10,000 for an Airbnb that can be used worldwide. The Steelers’ Russell Wilson also gave 14 offensive linemen a black and yellow Louis Vuitton duffel bag, custom-made black and yellow Good Man Brand shoes and a bottle of wife Ciara’s Ten To One rum.
8. Kansas City Chiefs
Week 17 result: Beat Pittsburgh Steelers 29-10
This should be higher on the list, as well. But we’re tired of the Chiefs winning everything. And of Taylor Swift. The Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes gave his bodyguards a red Yeti cooler with a Rolex watch, Oakley sunglasses, Lucchese boots and Normatec recovery boots inside.
9. Washington Commanders
Week 17 result: Beat Atlanta Falcons 30-24
Jayden Daniels is impossible to predict on the field, as he can throw it over defenders’ heads or run by them. But when it comes to buying gifts, the Commanders QB kept it simple. He wrapped up electric scooters for his offensive linemen, “so they don’t have to walk around as much,” he told reporters.
10. Los Angeles Chargers
Week 17 result: Beat New England Patriots 40-7
Justin Herbert got his linemen two gift cards, one from Delta Airlines (along with luggage) and one for wagyu beef from Snake River Farms — to keep their minds off their vacation plans.
Honorable mention:
Buffalo Bills
Week 17 result: Beat New York Jets 40-14
In the past, Bills QB Josh Allen gifted his linemen custom scooters, golf clubs and lessons. But his Bills linemen have reversed the trend — since whenever they screw up, Allen just runs by a defensive lineman or trucks a defensive back.
New York Giants
Week 17 result: Beat Indianapolis Colts 45-33
Daniel Jones is living the good life as a practice squad player on the Vikings. But he didn’t forget his former teammates — or hold a grudge for all the beatings they facilitated earlier this season — and sent his old Giants linemen presents. He gifted them a limited edition bottle of Clase Azul tequila. The bottles can range in price from $120 to $19,000.
Overall record: 8-4
Moral of the story: Big guys like presents.
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